Mid-life crisis?

Do women have mid-life crises? Apparently it's a proven fact that men do. They put on toupees, buy convertibles, have affairs, etc. What about us? Isn't it bad enough that we have to have periods, PMS, bear children and go through menopause?

Of course, you can look at a mid-life crisis as a good thing or a bad thing. It can be good, because it certainly looks like fun, doesn't it? Bad, because it's frustrating and unsettling and can sometimes really upset or ruin your family. True?

I don't consider myself anywhere near mid-life, but I'm definitely going through something. All through my high school and college years, I strove to be the woman in the power suit and running shoes. I was going to live in a big city in a fantastic apartment and have a powerful job.

Here I am, still in West Virginia, living out in the sticks. I'm a soccer mom with an SUV, a mortgage and unfortunately a job that I hate. I didn't used to hate it. I used to have fun at it. Even through all the political bull shit we endured here, I still enjoyed what I did.

I don't enjoy it anymore.

Ever since Sam was born, I wanted to be a SAHM. It's not even about that anymore, especially because he is in school now. It's about doing something I enjoy. It's about doing something that makes a difference in someone else's life. It's about doing something with meaning and purpose.

I don't mind work. Lord knows, Dad instilled that in me a long, long time ago. I just want something different. I tell friends that and they say to apply for another job. Well, that's just the same old same old. Same shit, different day and I don't want any part of it.

So what do I want to do? Oh, I know what I want to do. I've talked about it for a couple years now. The big question is: Do I have the balls to go out on that limb and take a risk? I think I do, if I just had Ron's support.

He's too worried about the bottom line and doesn't want to accumulate any debt after I quit here. I can understand that, but he doens't understand how unhappy I am. I'm not in a better mood ever than when it is 3:30 on Friday because I know I don't have to think about this place for a couple days. Sunday afternoon, I start getting bitchy because I know Monday is coming.

I just feel like you have to sacrifice sometimes for you happiness. I just wish he would take this little leap with me.

Busy weekend

Wow. Our weekend was full! Our special Friday night activity was carving pumpkins and this bad mommy didn't get any pictures. I'll try to take one tonight. The pumpkin we did turned out great. A girl in the neighborhood wouldn't believe that we had actually done it ourselves until she saw our mess! LOL

Saturday morning was the soccer game. Sam, unfortuantely, is a follower and does so much better when he has stronger players on his team.... Lord, that child is just like me. Ugh! How do you teach a child to be a leader when both parents are mealy mouths?

When we got home Eric had already dug the ditch for the new drainage line. WooHoo!!! I'm so excited to see this job and done right. Despite the fact that we've already spent thousands to do this very thing, hopefully it will get done right this time.

We had tie-dye birthday party Saturday afternoon. That was... interesting. That mother is definitely braver than I am. LOL

Sam enjoyed working alongside Eric. Hopefully he was a help and not a hindrance.





Too cute! He and Dad would have had a BALL together! Life just isn't fair sometimes.

Sam got to go to Lowe's with Eric and Haley and Daddy Saturday night so he was all excited!

Sunday started with a trip a grocery store. Then, another birthday party. Sunday afternoon and evening were again fill with Sam following Eric around the yard mirroring his every move.

I finally snapped some pictures of Sam in his glasses. You can tell that he is none too happy with me taking them, but I just had to!

We came, We saw.... We cried

So, we are about a month into kindergarten and, this morning, there were still tears. It truly is breaking my heart and I just don't understand it. Out of all the "worst case scenarios" I could come up with involving Sam going off to kindergarten, separation anxiety was NOT on the list.

We actually had two good days this week. Psst, it's only Wednesday! LOL I really thought we were over the hump and there would be no more tears.

Of course this morning the schedule was all off because of the selling of the yo yos from The Ned Show, which is an entirely different story. And we all know that the Samster is a definite creature of habit and as soon as he gets used to the morning routine, they throw a cog in the wheel and change it on him!

I'm hoping for an uneventful evening and an early bedtime... for both of us!